Ever since she made her film debut with the Malayalam Premam in 2015, Sai Pallavi has been on a learning curve. Every project of hers, she says, has taught her a lot, answered lingering questions, and helped her make the transition to being a better person and artiste. Even the films that failed her have been great teachers, she insists.
This week is special for her, as she teams up for the second time with Sekhar Kammula, the director who made her character Bhanumathi an everyday name in Telangana and large swathes of the South, with Fidaa. Love Story, where she co-stars with Naga Chaitanya, sees her occupy a new space in a familiar land, as she plays Mounica, a young woman who has faced issues because of her gender, and who falls in love with a man discriminated against because of his caste.
“As an actress, when I read this script, I knew this was not an alien character but something every girl would be familiar with. So many have remained quiet, it might have impacted so many lives. Commercial films might not fully express this, but Sekhar garu has tried to. My only hope from the film is that after watching it, parents might ask their children, ‘Is there something you were not able to tell us?’ And might ask themselves, ‘What can we do to observe our children better?’ Any other director might have dealt with it differently, considering he is speaking about two important angles in the film, but Sekhar garu has given equal importance to both strands," says Pallavi.
"In the world he’s created, two young people enter a relationship with a certain baggage, and are influenced by their past. But they stay together and confront it, and that is endearing."
When Kammula went back to Pallavi with another script after Fidaa, she was delighted, but also worried if she would ever be able to shrug off the effect of Bhanumathi. And like she internalised the pain of Sumathi in Vetrimaaran’s Oar Iravu in Netflix India’s Paava Kadhaigal, Pallavi did absorb some of the grief that tormented Mounica. It did not help that she was also working on another intense role in Virata Parvam, co-starring Rana Daggubati.
“I guess this is just how I work. Films have an impact on me, and my current thought process and personal life. Some people who are lucky switch on and off, but I like it this way. It matters, this pain, because I believe in it. And most of my films move me thus. I don’t know how I can overcome it. I am only conscious of the fact that I don’t take out that baggage I carry on others around me. My parents take a lot of heat every time I take on such stress. It so happened that the three films I was working on at the same time were all intense roles. And I am not the kind of person who can cry immediately after a shoot and find relief. It slowly builds up and finally crashes on me some days or weeks later, invariably when I am at home. But this is how I work, and it has worked well for my performances, so I am not complaining. Each one gives something to a performance, and I allow that grief to enter my heart. But yes, I’d like to do a happy film where I dance and smile. At least for my family, because they can’t bear to see me sad on screen. They loved me in Maari.”
Over the years and the various directors she has worked with, Pallavi has learnt that certain things surprisingly help her perform better. “For instance, in Virata Parvam, there is a scene with Rana, and for some reason, the background score of the Kannathil Muthamittal climax played in my head. Technically, this is a scene between a man and a woman, but that scene, which is about a mother and child and vulnerability, helped me tap into the emotion needed for this scene. I don’t know if everyone will appreciate this, but I enjoy the process and the challenge.”
Pallavi says that it is vital she looks forward to the day’s work. “Occasionally, what I do is so new it takes me by surprise. It comes from somewhere, through me, but I do not consciously work on it. Sometimes, I feel I am possessed by a character, so much so that I am a medium.” But for all the praise, she gives the credit to her directors. “I focus on what they tell me they thought of when writing a scene, and focus on just that,” she says.
Pallavi is also one of those very few actors who have been accepted by the audience as one of their own, and who has them batting for her at every stage. “I still can’t process that kind of love. I wonder if I will lose it at some stage. In my head, I don’t feel like I am an actor. I am relieved I am loved but I’ve always been raised to focus on what you’ve become rather than how successful you’ve become. And years of being around such people ensures I keep introspecting, and check and see if I’m changing as a person. If I am not happy with myself and my choices and how I act, how can I be happy with the film? I am the kind of person who feels terrible even if I snap at someone by chance. It hurts me that I’ve hurt someone. It reflects on my performance. If I am happy as a person, I am a happy artiste too.”
Like other actors, Pallavi was at home in Coimbatore for months on end as the COVID-19 pandemic raged, and that was when she sat down to read a whole lot of scripts. “I’m not sure if it is because of COVID or the boom in OTT, but I am reading more interesting scripts. But there’s not been any great change in the characters that come my way. Sometimes, I wish someone came to me with a character unlike anything anyone has visualised me in. If I like the story and am told upfront as to what I have to do in the movie, I am usually in. If that sync is not there, then work stops being a joyous process. And so I don’t keep people waiting for a reply. I am honest, and tell them what I feel or why I feel I cannot be a part of it.”
Pallavi is now part of two Telugu films, besides one in Tamizh. “After some hits and misses, I do not involve anyone else in the process of script selection. I believe in gut instinct, and go for roles that challenge me,” she says. “However, during the said process of bettering a character, I function better when there is no ego, where the script is god, and what is on makes an impact. This is not always possible, but I try, for I love the good experiences with people and the exchange of views.” Among the good experiences, says Pallavi, is getting to work in two films with Kammula’s team. “It’s not like a homecoming, because I’ve always stayed in touch with the team. They are my extended family that cares a lot for me.”
Sometimes, she tells herself to not make a huge scene or react or demand her rights. "But, Sekhar garu told me that I should ask for my rights because I am the last person to stand up for myself. He taught me to believe that it is all right to take time off,” recalls Pallavi. On his sets, Pallavi says they have had conversations around maternity leave and what women lose out on in their career.
“He works very closely with Chaitanya Pingali, who was part of the writing team of Fidaa, and there are discussions about what is right for the character to do or not. Invariably, he accepts the change. It feels surreal to see that in person. Only someone with no ego could behave thus. He has not changed his sandals since Fidaa. And while he writes so many characters and lives so many different lives during the creation process, his lifestyle remains the same. He still delights in little joys. I’ve learnt to keep my character in check from him. He works with a medium, and I feel grateful to be a part of his medium,” concludes Pallavi. And that is also why even in the future, she would like to do a Kammula film once in a while so she can be real on screen and experience the near-therapeutic sets again.
Love Story will release in theatres this Friday on 24 September.
from Firstpost Bollywood Latest News https://ift.tt/3hZTYhT
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